Dating

“Your past does not determine your future in love — you do.”

~Katherine Woodward Thomas

Begin Creating Healthy Intimate Love Today

Make today the beginning of a healthy and passionate love affair – one that starts with yourself.

Regardless of how challenging your love life has been, you have the power to shift your mindset in order to become a homing beacon for a mutually intimate and fulfilling relationship with someone that would make your heart sing.

Longing for a Partner

You’ve been successful in SO many areas of your life; yet no matter how many books, workshops, or dating sites you go on, you can’t seem to find someone who is a great fit for YOU.

You’ve put a lot of effort into becoming your best self and may have even started to doubt if intimate and passionate love is really in your cards.

Tired of Heartbreak

You’re tired of feeling mismatched in love, and you’re starting to worry that this may never change. You’re stuck in a relationship that’s going nowhere or one ended that’s left you reeling in heartbreak – afraid to risk again.

You find yourself starting to settle for hookups or friends-with-benefits to feel connected, alive, or desired.

Or maybe you’ve declared romance off limits and are going it solo – powering through the lonely nights.

You’re tired of all the well-meaning attempts to set you up, explain why you’re single, or try to include you as a third wheel. You wish you had YOUR person.

It Doesn’t Have to Be So Hard

I am here to affirm that opening your heart and attracting someone that would be a great fit doesn’t have to be that hard.

I’ve worked with many people, like yourself, who are accomplished and still long for partnership.

Drawing on principles outlined in Katherine Woodward Thomas, MA, MFT, licensed psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling book for dating, Calling in “The One,” as well as extensive professional and personal experience, I am here to assert that attracting the love of your life is possible at ANY stage in your life.

We Are Meaning-Making Machines

We humans like to make meaning out of everything. We create stories to connect us, to relay information, to protect us, and to draw us closer to one another. Some of these stories are empowering and others – not so much.

Dating Can Feel Out of Our Control

A key distinction that Katherine Woodward Thomas brought to light is that most of us relate to our romantic life as something that is out of our control. So, we spend lots of money and time on dating programs, going on blind dates, even at times writing dating off thinking that if we just surrendered then maybe, just maybe someone would come along.

And yet, unfortunately, many times we are oblivious to the ways in which we block or miss potential partners.

Stories We Trip Over

We humans love to make sense of life, especially painful encounters, so as to code it as dangerous and avoid it in the future.

In our early years, the love lessons we get in our families and at school become core beliefs or stories that then inform what we believe is possible – or not.

Some of these might be obvious to you, and others are what we would call your blind spots.

For example, common stories when trying to date include, “I can’t trust men,” “Girls never go for the nice guys like me,” “The kind of men I like are never interested in me,” or “I know if I was only thinner then they’d be interested.”

We hold these stories close because they offer the illusion of safety – safety from enduring a familiar heartbreak, rejection, or abandonment.

How We Get in Our Own Way

No one wants to feel that pain again. These core wounds are deep, and many of us go our entire lives never truly healing these raw spots.

You may have witnessed a horrible divorce as a child or seen your single parent struggle to be there and provide.

Even in marriages, people will often feel lonely, not getting their needs met, or feeling mutually fulfilled – which often leads to someone stepping out or ending the union – only the next time they date it feels like deja vu.

We stick to our stories to protect our hearts, often unaware that they are the very thing that has us sabotaging our chance for love!

“Your struggle to find love is not your fault,
and it is something you have the power to change.”

~Katherine Woodward Thomas

Calling in “The One” Online Group Coaching

Join our online group led by Dr. Julie Estrella, relationship and love coach, designed to walk you through an 8-week process to help you uncover the ways you are unconsciously getting in your own way and instead turn on that homing beacon for fulfilling love.

Using the curriculum of Katherine Woodward Thomas, MA, MFT, licensed psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of Calling in “The One,” together we will help you identify your blocks and barriers to love, as well as provide you a safe environment to begin creating a new vision for love and how you would get to be to create that in your life.

Discover unresolved baggage and stories that may be covertly sabotaging your chances for love.

Till the Soil of Your Heart Thoroughly

You will have access to a daily lesson, corresponding practice, mediation, and journaling exercises that will help you bring that lesson to life. With the support of others committed to making bold moves in their lives, you will clarify your life’s purpose, a life worth living, and how to shift from a “me” to “we” mindset.

What’s Included in the Group Coaching?

The group coaching will meet online weekly for 8 sessions and include a variety of additional useful resources that will be made available through the group’s online Facebook group.

The cost does not include the cost of the book, Calling in “The One,” by Katherine Woodward Thomas.

Meet Your Coach

You will be given support to walk you through this trusted process by a coach who spent just over a decade striking out in love before she did similar work.

I’m Julie – Love enthusiast and committed partner with you in this journey!

In my late 20s, I attended a leadership workshop that I thought was supposed to help me be a better leader in my work and instead found myself bawling my eyes out the first night when the exercise called for sharing our vision for our future.

My Story: I’m Too Much

All I could think about was how much I wanted to be married. But also how jaded I was about marriage and my ability to find a man who could handle my “strong personality,” as one male friend teased me.

The work didn’t matter, not really; I was on track for managing my own department. Instead, what became so clear was how scared I was to trust men and how marriage seemed like a trap for women who dared to dream – all compliments of my early love lessons.

I Chose to Trust, and My Blindfolds Fell Away

In that workshop, I woke up to the profound impact these old stories were having in my life and how amazing it can be when I step out on the skinny branches and risk.

I met men who knocked the old stories off the table and helped me start to make space for trustworthy, powerful, confident men to start showing up.

Be a Heat-Seeking Missile for Anything That Scares You

From there I decided to pursue any sort of work that would support me in creating an empowered view of men and myself in partnership with them – in my family, at work, and romantically. I discovered communities like Alison Armstrong’s PAX workshops, dedicated to approaching relationships from a responsible conversation or mindset, as we like to say these days.

For me, a responsible mindset means that I am aware I am creating my entire reality in how I choose to respond to life in any given moment.

In waking up to the stories that I am operating by, being willing to embrace and deconstruct them, I then created the space to create a new story – one that empowered and evoked me to take action.

Becoming Ms. Right

I jumped wholeheartedly into becoming the woman I thought could only exist once she found her true love. I focused on treating everyone in the way I wanted to be in relationship – loving, trusting, open, and authentic.

I went to a LOT of workshops, dated a ton, and explored online dating, too.

Sergio Estrella, Dr. Estrella’s husband

Who Is This Guy???

All in all, it took me about three years before I met my incredible husband. We met at one of those original leadership workshops – and I swear, it was like a tractor beam caught me… I had never experienced anything like it.

The goodness of fit was clear to me within two dates, and we set out to create a life we both feel fulfilled by. I went back to school to become a Licensed marriage and family therapist with a Ph.D. and focus on working with couples and intimacy.

Relationship & Love Coaching

Over nine years later, we are not only deeper in love than ever before, we are also embarking on giving the type of relationship coaching we wish we had access to years ago together!

Whether you are wanting to attract a soul mate or deepen the intimate connection between you, we now offer relationship coaching through Schaepper Psychiatry.

Calling in “The One” Group

I am not a fan of reinventing the wheel; and when a friend recommended the Calling in “The One” book by Katherine Woodward Thomas, I was ecstatic! I wish I would have had my hands on this a decade ago when I went through my own heart-wrenching transformation. Her process is powerful and effective.

As humans we tend to do better in community when creating change, for support and accountability. You can count on me to set a context for your group experience that is warm, inviting, and provides the safety needed to explore wherever you need to go through your process.

I will be available via email and on the FB group outside of the group time, and you are always welcome to set up an individual coaching appointment if needed.

What If I’m Not Sure I’m Ready for a Relationship?

Sometimes people have let me know that they aren’t feeling ready to attract a relationship. You may be struggling with anxiety about your future or have just exited a messy divorce – and yet something in this post resonated with you.

Somehow you intuitively sense that there are crossed wires inside, and you’d really love support clearing house, tiling the soil of your heart so to speak, to experience a new way of relating to yourself – with loving kindness.

Whether or not you are “ready” for a relationship, we encourage you to use this time to prepare your heart to be able to attract and then recognize a powerful partner. Through the powerful support of a group, you will have a home base to work through your stuff and to receive feedback about all that makes you gloriously you.

You will be encouraged to make time to carve out time to create a life that inspires you, one where you live and love boldly. If not now, when?

Take Action for a Healthy, Passionate Relationship Today

And if you are feeling lit up with the possibility of creating a relationship that is mutually fulfilling, then let’s take this on together!

Call (951) 271-0397 today to set up a free phone consultation to see if this would be a good fit for you.